Stories by @Jeshisthename

Who should be a guest star on The Muppet Show?

If The Muppet Show ever got a proper reboot, who would you most like to see be a potential guest star (extra credit goes to whoever comments or posits the sort of acts/ songs they would perform during their appearance.)

TᕼE ᑕᖇᑌᑕIᗷᒪE

A small group of teen girls in 1692 Salem, Massachusetts caught in an innocent conjuring of love potions to catch young men are forced to tell lies that Satan had invaded them and forced them to participate in the rites and are then forced to name those involved. Thrown into the mix are greedy preachers and other major landowners trying to steal others' land and one young woman infatuated with a married man and determined to get rid of his innocent wife. Arthur Miller wrote the events and the subsequent trials where those who demanded their innocence were executed, those who would not name names were incarcerated and tortured, and those who admitted their guilt were immediately freed as a parable of the Congressional Communist witch hunts led by Senator Joe McCarthy in 1950's America.

Recasting Awkwafina

Imagine if you will, a world where one of the most dunked on voices in recent years is unavailable for any of the roles she’s been cast as. Who would be the next best choice?

𝕋𝕣𝕦𝕖 𝔸𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕘𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖

“What, he asked himself, does it mean to ‘hit me baby, one more time?’”

𝓛𝓲𝓷𝓴: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓪𝓬𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓔𝓿𝓲𝓵

Ganon and his minions have seized the peaceful island of Koridai and imprisoned Zelda. Only Link can defeat Ganon. To do so, he must conquer the hideous faces of evil... each more diabolic than the one before. Against all odds, Zelda must be freed and Koridai returned to harmony.

𝒵𝑒𝓁𝒹𝒶: 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝒢𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓃

When King Harkinian vanishes on a mission to save Gamelon, Link takes off to rescue him. But soon, Link is also missing, and Zelda must free them both from their evil captors.

𝓡𝓸𝓫𝓲𝓷 𝓗𝓸𝓸𝓭

Robin Hood is a heroic outlaw, who is setting out to free his impoverished village from Prince John and the corrupt Sheriff of Nottingham. Luckily, Robin has his faithful friend and sidekick Little John to help him on his heists by stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, but Robin still longs to have Maid Marian's hand in marriage. This will ultimately prove to be a difficult task for Robin, because the childish Prince wants the outlaw arrested. But the villagers still won't tolerate the Prince's tyranny any further or the Sheriff constantly swindling them. In order to save the village from being ruined and get King Richard back to reclaim his rightful place on the throne, Robin and Little John decide to take a stand against Prince John and the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Ｊｅｓｕｓ Ｃｈｒｉｓｔ Ｓｕｐｅｒｓｔａｒ

Based on a concept album project written by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, and the subsequent long-running Broadway performance, this film tells the story of the final 6 days in the life of Jesus Christ through the troubled eyes of Judas Iscariot. Too often mis-labeled a musical, this film is a "rock opera." There are no spoken lines, everything is sung.

𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕝𝕪 𝕄𝕠𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕟 𝕄𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕖

In New York City during the Roaring Twenties, would-be flapper Millie Dillmount's self-appointed mission to marry her boss is complicated by white slavers and true love.

IF {1980s Edition}

A young girl who goes through a difficult experience begins to see everyone's imaginary friends who have been left behind as their real-life friends have grown up.

ℍ𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕝 𝕃𝕦𝕔𝕖

The deranged cavalcades of a schizophrenic clay sculptor, a libidinous food critic, and a nonagenarian doll collector crossover in a seedy two-star hotel within Beverly Hills' criminal underbelly.

𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞

A slice of life chronicle of the high school experience of James Chapman, a fourteen year old idealist who gradually comes into his own over the course of four years.

Diary of An Oxygen Thief

A film adaptation of the infamous Oxygen Thief Diaries about a nameless Irish advertising executive living in London who wrestles with his emotionally abusive tendencies and the culture shock he faces upon traveling to America.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐬

Retired opera star Adelaide Bonfamille enjoys the good life in her Paris villa with even classier cat Duchess and three kittens: pianist Berlioz, painter Toulouse and sanctimonious Marie. When loyal butler Edgar overhears her will leaves everything to the cats until their death, he drugs and kidnaps them. However retired army dogs make his sidecar capsize on the country. Crafty stray cat Thomas O'Malley takes them under his wing back to Paris. Edgar tries to cover his tracks and catch them at return, but more animals turn on him, from the cart horse Frou-Frou to the tame mouse Roquefort and O'Malley's jazz friends.

𝐅𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐟

It's pre-revolutionary Russia in the largely Jewish community of Anatevka, Ukraine, whose residents are ruled by community and cultural traditions. For poor dairy farmer, Tevye, and his wife, Golde, those traditions include getting the town matchmaker, Yente, to find their five daughters - the three oldest, Tzeitel, Hodel and Chava, who are barely of marrying age - suitable wealthy husbands, especially important since the girls will have no dowries. Tzeitel, not yet twenty, doesn't like that Yente only chooses old men. She is also in love with the poor tailor, Motel. Motel doesn't believe Tevye would approve of a union between himself and Tzeitel because of Motel's poor socioeconomic state, and without someone arranging the union. Hodel understands these traditions better than her elder sister, Hodel who has her sights on the rabbi's son, because of what he is, not because of who he is. Chava accepts her fate, marriage still being years away, but she hopes for someone she will love while she now focuses on her love of books. Change from those traditions is in the air, which is confirmed by Perchik, a young man, a student espousing Marxist ideals, recently arrived from Kyiv. This change may affect what happens matrimonially with Tzeitel, Hodel and Chava. But this change comes anti-Jewish sentiment sweeping across Europe, which may affect what happens to Tevye, his family, and the Jewish community in Anatevka as a whole.

𝗙𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗲

After his owner relocates, the cat Francis in involved in a series of cat murders in the new neighborhood. Francis tries to solve the murder cases with others - including Claudandus, a very knowledgable and old cat.

𝗙𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗲𝘁

Slaves and masters dominate the narrative of the faraway world of Ygam. Set around the lifespan of Terr, a minute human shaped Om slave, and pet, of the giant blue alien Draags. Escaping into the wilderness and with a device used for intellectual advancement of the Draags, Terr finds refuge and support from fellow Oms and using the learning tool, he finds that knowledge is power and then sets to use the new found knowledge to revolt against the Draag masters...

All That’s Funny

A fresh-faced aspiring comic comes to New York City during the 1970s and explores the fiercely combative stand-up scene; where tongues are sharp and vices are in excess.

With Love, from State Pen

An aging voice actress steadily falls for a charismatic prisoner who has a crush on a character she portrayed from the 1990s cartoon.

Passion or Pancakes

"Spin the clock back to 2013 and enjoy a party-licious San Francisco Saturday night in the sparkly Marina! Kris and Bren meet up with friends, yearning for passion or pancakes. Mark and Chet also barhop, yearning for fun too. Anything can happen tonight: dancing, flirting, drunken tug-of-wars over the karaoke mic, and maybe even romance? Have the most fun ever from a rom-com novel with the first book in this hilarious and heartfelt Marina series. If you love Gilmore Girls banter and Sex and the City friendships you will be over the moon for this rom-com novel."