68 stories
Grand Theft Auto (2013)
What if, instead becoming the GTA V we all know and love(?), Dan Houser wanted it to be a movie instead? Well, viola! Also, pretend it's 2007 Jonah Hill, not 2013 Jonah.
Wonder Boys (2025)
The Curtis Hanson classic... 25 years later
Four Weddings and a Funeral (2024)
The British rom-com classic... thirty years later!
The Dark Fields (2026)
God, Limitless was a disappointment. A great premise, what if you were an instant genius via a pill, wasted on a lazy business bro fantasy that feels ridiculous since Wall Street's mystique was nuked by Redditors in the 2020s. First of all, the title's been scorched enough, so we'll change the name to The Dark Fields, after the original novel. Though we won't be using the original dismal ending; sorry, but tech bro joe dying of withdrawal just isn't all that interesting. Secondly, the original was a R-rated flick stuffed into a PG-13 suit, so we're upping that rating right away; after all, what's the point of life without sex? Anyways, you get the idea, so ba-da bing, ba-da boom, let's get crackin' (pun unintended)!
Ender's Game (2002)
What if Ender's Game got an accurate adaptation in 2002 (cuz why the hell not?) Also, rot in hell with your homophobic trash OSC! ...also, they're aged up I guess.
Mission Impossible III (2026)
Not gonna lie, 2026 has to be, like, the best year of Anne Hathaway's life ever, right? Almost like an apex mountain or something? Anyways, you know the drill by now.
The Blue Lagoon (2002)
A remake of the Stacpoole novel in the early 2000s! Note: it's a little weird.
Masters of the Universe (2008)
Ah, who didn't like the mid-to-late 2000s Hasbro toy adaptations? Other than everyone who wasn't a straight white 12-year-old boy, I guess. All jokes aside, with the new Masters of the Universe film looking like a flop before it's even come out, I ponder if the film would've been a certified hit way back in 2008, just a year after the first Transformers movie, when we were still stupid enough to watch this kind of slop (don't get me wrong, we're still stupid now, just not in this extremely specific area.) In fact, I can picture the story now: with Eternia now under the rule of Skeletor, the monster now plans to expand his conquest to Earth, the planet He-Man had been banished to. With the help of a couple of horny high-schoolers (I see you, Bay!), He-Man must come back and save the world again! Throw in a couple Harriers and McG coming off a mediocre sports movie, soon to direct the most forgettable Terminator, and you've got yourself a solid 600 million dollar box office and a Mr. Plinkett review!
All-Star Superman
An adaptation of Grant Morrison's classic Superman tale, with not a word or frame changed!
Chomp
An adaptation of the Carl Hiaasen novel of the same name- though now, with more an adult focus. Sorry, I don't want to make up a movie for kids.
He Got Game
A remake of Spike Lee's sports classic "He Got Game"... 28 years later!
O Sister, Where Art Thou? (2020)
Yeah, what if we gender-swapped the Coen brothers' (arguably) best film (not actually arguable)? I think it'd be cool! We'll push it up a couple decades, so now it's the 1950s, and now it's about women who didn't conform to male pressure and are on the run to win their families back! But like in a cool way, not in a lame girlboss kind of way. You get it, you get it, you get!
Tarzan: Between Two Worlds (2018)
Let's be real here, the Disney live-action remake era was weird. Between the uninspired remakes of classics like "Aladdin" and "The Lion King", it was pretty bad nostalgia bait (cue that one RLM clip where they play the Star Wars adult fan clip). But what if, it was kind of inspired? Okay, here me out. Obviously remaking the later films in the Disney Renaissance is either murky social territory (Pocahontas, Hunchback), or cable movie slop (Hercules, Emperor's). But what if you took a classic literary work, say, Tarzan, and reimagined as something like Peter Jackson's King Kong; part social commentary, part big budget spectacle. Picture this: a wealthy professor launches a major expedition into Equatorial Africa, hoping to find his great discovery, his reluctant daughter betrothed to his chief of security, when he finds his great discovery, a real feral human! Or who gives a whoop, amirite? I mean, I'm basically describing a whole new Tarzan adaptation, with the 1999 film as a cheap excuse for really remaking King Kong 2005 but with a normal sized dude! Sure would be better than the 2016 version. Or maybe I'm just pissed that 2018 is no longer the current era. Seriously, what the hell guys?!
House (2024-2031)
House... twenty years later and gender-swapped! Let's hope they do a better job with the final season this time.
Now You See Me (1993)
Now You See Me... Twenty Years Earlier!
Project X (2026)
Project X... 14 years later! Now, I won't lie, is this a movie that should be left in the past? Probably. But hey, it's fun to imagine what it would be like if this movie came out today, warts and all. And I should say, no open casting call thing here. Sorry to all you fancasters who feel so smart when you say "an unknown should play this role", when you know damn well the fun of fancasting comes from imagining recognizable actors in different roles! Obviously in real life the audition is king and actors are picked based on their performance in the role, but this is fantasy casting, so let's just have some fun! Whew, that was heavy. Alright, let's get into it!
Mission: Impossible 2 (2020)
You know the deal, gender-swapped and yadda-yadda.
Mission: Impossible (2016)
A gender-swapped remake of Mission: Impossible in 2016?! Whaaa?
Disney's Hercules (2025)
Disney's Hercules, remade in 2025. Yeah, yeah, real original. Also, can I say how much I hate the fact they killed that series of great theatrical release posters for Disney renaissance films with this movie? Seriously, can someone please make a fan poster in the style of John Alvin?
Hot Tub Time Machine
Ah, nostalgia! 80s nostalgia, while oddly durable by nostalgia wave standards, is a classic, but what about 2000s nostalgia? I know, I know, Y2K is played out as hell, but c'mon guys, let's give it a chance! And while we're at it, how about that Hot Tub Time Machine? It's funny, I loved the movie at 13, but watching it now, it doesn't really hold up. Guess that's just the passage of time or something. Anyways, we're trading synth-pop for emo, perms for crop tops, and general early 2010s politically incorrect humor for modernity, because away we go!
