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Synopsis
Children Lindsey and Kevin Kingston sabotage the relationships of their divorced mother, determined to keep her single until their parents reconcile. Nick Persons, a child-hating businessman, purchases a 2005 Lincoln Navigator and boasts with his beloved bobble-head of Satchel Paige, who comes to life at its own will – though only Nick can hear him. When he reaches his shop, he witnesses the woman of his dreams, Suzanne Kingston. On his way to talk to her, he is disgusted to find she has two kids, who turn out to be Lindsey and Kevin.
Later that night, Nick runs into Suzanne on his way home, asking for a jump start because her car has broken down. After receiving an electric shock, he agrees to take her home, and once there, agrees to transport her wherever she needs to go. On New Year's Eve, he brings her to an airport to go to Vancouver for a business meeting, but her ex-husband calls to say he is sick and cannot bring the children to the airport, leaving her to put her trust in Nick.
Once at her house, he meets Kevin and Lindsey for the second time and gives them "gifts" (a pizza coupon for Lindsey and a corkscrew for Kevin). They go to the airport to park, where Kevin accidentally damages Nick's car door. Nick yells at Kevin, making him cry, but bribes him with 10 dollars to make sure he doesn't get in trouble by the police. Inside the airport, Nick is tackled by security after Kevin learns that corkscrews are illegal to bring on planes so he ditches the item in Nick's jacket pocket. After taking a train instead, the two kids jump off to collect a toy just as Nick boards, forcing him to jump off and land unsafely. When they lose their luggage, they reluctantly drive.
Believing Nick is only their mother's friend, the kids are tamed but still misbehave and show Nick no respect. At a truck stop, the two learn from one of Nick's friends on his cell phone that he not only dislikes them, but also lied about not having feelings for their mother. They then show less restraint and cause mayhem throughout the trip, hijacking Nick's car by having Kevin fake an asthmatic attack, injuring Nick in the testicles with a plastic axe, signalling to truck driver Al Buck that they have been kidnapped (which results in heavy damage to Nick's car, much to his horror), and ultimately running away to visit their father. Nick pursues them on a horse but falls off.
Once they arrive, however, they learn their father has not only moved on, but has a new family. Feeling betrayed and abandoned, they warm up to Nick, as he does with them; Nick tells them his father also abandoned him. Along the rest of the trip, the three still find themselves in several mishaps, but each setback only strengthens their relationship. At one point, Kevin has to get an asthma refill from a pharmacist working as a clown at a chaotic children's New Year's Eve party, and during this, Lindsey reveals her singing talent, doing a karaoke version of Aretha Franklin's 1965 song "Respect". Back on the road, Kevin vomits on the car's windshield and then they pull into a conservation area to clean out the car. While Kevin and Nick feed a deer some cookies, Lindsey accidentally scares it with a camera flash, causing the deer to fight Nick, resulting in him losing his keys. Because of this, Nick tries to hotwire the car using his lighter, but he accidentally sets the alarm off. After stopping the alarm, Nick slams the car's hood down, causing the lighter to tip over and set the inside of the car on fire. The car then explodes. Nick angrily blames the kids by pretending it was their fault making them cry but calms down and apologizes immediately afterwards.
The trio tries to hitch a ride from Al Buck, but he leaves Nick behind and drives off, still thinking Nick is a kidnapper. Nick hitches a ride from the driver of a billboard truck. To Al's surprise, the kids physically attack him in the van, leading to a chase that ends when in Vancouver, where Nick fights Al, along with several men dressed as snowmen. During the fight, Kevin has an asthma attack and collapses. Nick rushes to his aid and revives him. Witnessing the event, Suzanne believes trusting Nick was a mistake. After encouragement from Satchel, Nick goes to Suzanne's hotel to tell her and the kids farewell for good. After Suzanne realizes how much Nick and the kids have grown to care for each other, Suzanne realizes that Nick is the one for her, and they kiss on New Year's Eve during the fireworks at Lindsey's suggestion.